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BJORK MEETS PERFORMANCE ARTIST


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#1 amy

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Posted 21 May 2010 - 10:17 AM

By Carles | May 20, 2010 Posted Image
Some performance artist named Marina Abramović is doing some sort of ‘art work’ at the Museum of Modern Art where she sits and stares at people all day. It is called The Artist is Present, and u r supposed to feel ‘deep and emotional’ looking into her soul [link to website]. The photos of every1 staring at her are uploaded to some flickr site. Tons of famous people and alt-looking New Yorkers have ’started 2 go see this live meme’ going down, probably to get press/feel more famous.

Bjork recently stopped by to get her stare on with this mopey old lady, and it seems like they had a meaningful telepathic conversation.

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Marina Abramović: Sup sligga
Bjork: Hey How r u
Marina Abramović: What r u doing 2day?
Bjork: nmh. how abt u?
Marina Abramović: just gettin my stare on.
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Bjork: I really like what ur doing. u inspire me
Marina Abramović: haha ditto. sometimes I jam 2 u on my iPod when I make art
Bjork: O ya, which song do u like?
Marina Abramović: Mainly the early stuff. Ur later stuff is inaccessible
Bjork: Ya, I agree. Sorta just on cruise control now that my brand is established
Marina Abramović: Ya, I am hoping this internet meme art piece puts me over the top with mainstream blog fame
Posted Image
Bjork: so what do u like to do in ur spare time?
Marina Abramović: just artsy shit
Bjork: o that’s kewl.
Marina Abramović: where did u grow up, anyways?
Bjork: I am from Iceland.
Marina Abramović: I have met many great people from Iceland. They have a truly creative spirit.
Bjork: I’m really creative. I didn’t even go to school, I was raised by a collective of animals.
Marina Abramović: Like the band?
Bjork: No, like there were some wolves, a bear, some snow foxes, and some Icelandic llamas. We’d spend all day doing creative projects and writing music.
Marina Abramović: That’s kewl.
Bjork: There’s no such thing as ‘cool.’
Marina Abramović: Andy Warhol.
Bjork: Who is that?
Marina Abramović: He’s the guy who inspired Lady Gaga
Bjork: Who is Lady Gaga?
Marina Abramović: Isn’t that the singer that you are ripping off? She wears all this zany ass clothing
Bjork: There is no one else on this earth like me.
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Marina Abramović: Why do u think my husband divorced me?
Bjork: I dunno. U look kinda bitchy?
Marina Abramović: What do u mean? I looked rugged and real.
Bjork: I am just not sure I’d want to sit across from you for every meal.
Marina Abramović: But I look so real.
Bjork: I mean, it would just be hard to chill with you because you look like you want to cry and poop at the same time.
Posted Image
Marina Abramović: I actually do wanna poop right now.
Bjork: Do you wear a diaper during this performance piece?
Marina Abramović: No, I wear thong underwear.
Bjork: What happens when you have to poop?
Marina Abramović: I just sorta go.
Bjork: Did you poop today?
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Marina Abramović: Yes, I just pooped right now.
Bjork: in your white futuristic gown thingy?
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Marina Abramović: Yes
Bjork: You are sitting in your own feces?
Marina Abramović: I would do anything for art.
Bjork: Are you worried about getting a yeast infection [via fecal matter] inside of ur childbearing portal?
Marina Abramović: I would do anything for my art
Bjork: Listen, I’m kinda weird, I’m from Iceland and everything, but u really need to take care of urself.
Posted Image
Marina Abramović: I hate your music
Bjork: Listen, my music is usually sorta weird, but it isn’t as dumb as this ‘performance art.’
Marina Abramović: My face is the face of humanity. It will live on forever
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Bjork: Ya whatever.
Marina Abramović: Some1 needs to teach u some goddamned respect. I don’t care if you were raised by Icelandic wolves
Bjork: Not just wolves, but a collective of animals
Marina Abramović: Have u heard Merriweather?
Bjork: Post Pavvy?
Marina Abramović: Obvi
Bjork: Ya what about it
Marina Abramović: Shit is real good, huh?
Bjork: Duh. Went to their Guggenheim show. Those dudes straight tanked. Panda wanted nothing to do with it, so he boycotted
Marina Abramović: Oh for real? Ya I noticed Deakin was chillin there, but not Noah bro.
Bjork: Ya, AnCo stole a lot of songs from my real Animal Collective. They interned with our collective in the summer of 1995.
Marina Abramović: What’s the deal with Sigur Ros. U know anything about them?
Bjork: Nah. Dudes are straight up weird
Marina Abramović: Ya. Figured. Jonsi seems like a cool, conceptual twink tho.
Bjork: Ya. Not really a fag hag, tho. I am my own woman. I am the Bjork.
Posted Image
Marina Abramović: Sooo… u gonna see MacGruber?
Bjork: Yeah. Probs. I wasn’t into the SNL skit, but my daughter wants to fit in with her American classmates
Marina Abramović: is it hard to raise a conceptual child in America?
Bjork: It’s really hard. It is also difficult to make her eat healthy foods.
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Marina Abramović: What does she eat?
Bjork: The usual. Pizza rolls. McDonalds. Pizza Hut wings. Bread bowls from Domino’s. Monzy sticks. Ice cream sundaes. Doritos. Mountain Dew. The usual stuff.
Marina Abramović: I’m sorry to hear that.
Bjork: No, she’s a good kid. I love her, I just hate America
Marina Abramović: Same here. h8 cappytallism so bad
Bjork: But I guess they are the only people who are ‘dumb enough’ to keep buying our art
Marina Abramović: Ya. I mean, u gotta pay the bills somehow… lol
Bjork: lol
Marina Abramović: rotflmao
Bjork: hehe
Marina Abramović: sooo..
Bjork: u wanna meet my daughter?
Marina Abramović: I’m afraid
Bjork:here she is. Her name is Bjork Junior.
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Marina Abramović: Hello. I am Marina. I’m an artist
Bjork Jr: sup yall
Marina Abramović: how is ur day?
Bjork Jr: kinda bummed out. Just wanted to play video games all day, but my mom made us come to this art shit. Not even sure what is happening
Marina Abramović: Well just keep looking at me, then u’ll figure it out
Bjork Jr: But ur just some old lady. U look like the lady who cleans our loft.
Marina Abramović: I am the face of every1
Bjork Jr: Impossible. Ur talkin crazy
Marina Abramović: U are a spoiled lil brat. Can’t u see that I have lived life, been thru hardships?
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Bjork Jr: I don’t rlly care what u’ve been thru. My parents are ‘fucking loaded’ and they said I am getting an Escalade for my 16th birthday
Marina Abramović: You don’t need an SUV, not in the city
Bjork Jr: I’m gonna cruise so hard
Marina Abramović: I have never owned a car
Bjork Jr: That’s prob cuz ur poor. My mom is rich
Marina Abramović: h8 u. life isn’t just abt money
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Bjork Jr: We are gonna get Will Smith to play my Super Sweet 16
Marina Abramović: I really loved “Big Willy Style”
Bjork Jr: Did u like Hancock? Indepedence Day?
Marina Abramović: Nah. I was a bigger fan of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Personally, I am a huge Carlton fan
Bjork Jr: I am too young for that old people shit.
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Marina Abramović: It’s good. U gotta check it out on Nick At Night
Bjork Jr: Mom won’t let us have cable. She calls television ‘the poison box.’
Marina Abramović: But aren’t most TVs flat screens now?
Bjork Jr: Ya. I dunno. She’s dumb
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Marina Abramović: I have a plasma screen
Bjork Jr: I hear those have real trill ass picture
Marina Abramović: Ya. Got Avatar on blu ray. Shit pops right of the screen
Bjork Jr: Yeah, I saw it in 3d. Really dug it.
Marina Abramović: Wish Will Smith was in it
Bjork Jr: Ya. Woulda made more money, probably
Marina Abramović: And Jeff Goldblum
Bjork Jr: That bro killed it in Independence Day. AND Jurassic Park
Marina Abramović: My next art project might be to build a Jurassic Park
Bjork Jr: U got some dino DNA or what?
Marina Abramović: No but I know some guy who can get me some for cheap
Bjork Jr: That’s cool. Let me know when u sell tickets so my family can go.
Marina Abramović: Aite
Bjork Jr: Well I gotta go. Gonna go sit in the corner and play Nintendo DS
Marina Abramović: I miss u. nice 2 meet u
Bjork Jr: Same here. One last thing tho…
Marina Abramović: What is it, Junior
Bjork Jr: Can u tell my mom to get me a data plan?
Marina Abramović: What kind of phone do u have?
Bjork Jr: an iPhone 4g
Marina Abramović: And u don’t have data?
Bjork Jr: No
Marina Abramović: Why not?
Bjork Jr: Mom says that wireless internet can give u the chicken pox, or what she calls the Icelandic heeby jeebies
Marina Abramović: Ya. I’ll talk to her about making the most of her investment.
Posted Image
Bjork: Did yall talk about me?
Marina Abramović: No
Bjork: Well we gotta go.
Marina Abramović: Can u get ur daughter a data plan for her phone?
Bjork: No.
Marina Abramović: Well, you really need to. she needs to connect to twitter
Bjork: I’m hungry.
Marina Abramović: What r u gonna eat
Bjork: Probs gonna stop into chili’s
Marina Abramović: I guess it’s true… All roads do lead to Chili’s.
James Franco: Sup bitches. I’m mother effin lifted as hell. Pineappy Xpress
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Every1: Lolcats and memes! Poopoo in our panties.
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Is Bjork ‘chill’?
Is this ‘performance art’ a ‘big pile of poop’?
Do u wanna chill hard with Bjork Jr?
Does bjork jr deserve a data plan?
Do all roads lead to chilis?
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#2 Guest_kiloklops_*

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Posted 21 May 2010 - 10:26 AM

there is just no way i am reading all of that
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#3 fun guy

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Posted 21 May 2010 - 10:29 AM

didn't read lol


bjork is lookin old as hell though

Posted Image

:enditall2:
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#4 Amrk.

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Posted 21 May 2010 - 10:30 AM

there is just no way


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#5 fun guy

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Posted 21 May 2010 - 10:31 AM

YOU WANNA SEE ART?!

http://umbilicalblis...topic/46607-sz/

YEAH I DIDN'T THINK SO MAGGOT
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#6 Amrk.

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Posted 21 May 2010 - 10:35 AM

Sen is a posting genius.
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#7 amy

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 06:29 AM

it's sad that you guys will troll threads all day but can't take 4 minutes to read this. it's actually funny..

what is wrong with the youth of america today.
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#8 Guest_卐 Reichsritter Kayc 卐_*

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 06:30 AM

there is just no way i am reading all of that


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#9 Sen100

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 06:35 AM

Sen is a posting genius.


QFT
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#10 Guest_tayne_*

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 06:45 AM

read the entire thing. it's really funny.

this performance art is so wack. people are too dumb.
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#11 Pluto

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 07:02 AM

didn't read lol


bjork is lookin old as hell though

Posted Image

:enditall2:


She's 44 years old. She looks like a normal 44 year old.
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Posted 22 May 2010 - 07:04 AM

she looks 44 as hell though
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#13 fun guy

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 07:07 AM


didn't read lol


bjork is lookin old as hell though

Posted Image

:enditall2:


She's 44 years old. She looks like a normal 44 year old.

Yeah. She looks it, if not older than 44.
Haven't seen a pic of her at this age so i was just commenting on the fact.
:mannerism:
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#14 pavlovlore

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 07:48 AM

i might read this later....and is that james franco in the last picture?
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#15 fun guy

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 08:06 AM

i might read this later....and is that james franco in the last picture?

Bjork: I’m hungry.
Marina Abramović: What r u gonna eat
Bjork: Probs gonna stop into chili’s
Marina Abramović: I guess it’s true… All roads do lead to Chili’s.
James Franco: Sup bitches. I’m mother effin lifted as hell. Pineappy Xpress


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#16 Shogoon

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 09:11 AM

I enjoyed that
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#17 nick

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Posted 22 May 2010 - 11:33 AM

bjork needs to get a restraining order on timbaland


bjork needs to put timbaland in the cobra clutch and force him to get a restraining order on her for the protection of his life and her music
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#18 Guest_kiloklops_*

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Posted 23 May 2010 - 05:22 AM

[quote name='charlotte' date='22 May 2010 - 03:20 PM' timestamp='1274563232' post='1355731']
[quote name='kiloklops' date='22 May 2010 - 09:04 AM' timestamp='1274540640' post='1355204']she looks 44 as hell though
[/quote]
any woman who doesn't look prepubescent is a shock to your system.
[/quote]
[/quote]


just saw this...


:roflmo:
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#19 tl dr

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Posted 23 May 2010 - 12:34 PM

hipster runoff? fuck you
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