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#1725479 just spent like 6 hours making umbis in wwf no mercy

Posted by nick on 07 November 2011 - 11:00 PM

started off with dylan

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tried making newscast but he just ended up looking like the villain from die hard

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gabriel garb gerber gaber didn't really work etiher

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making mark was as easy as finding the saddest face i could find

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rashikal is a god in this game, totally imbalanced

literal master of martial arts

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here he is bouncing khadar's head off a steel cage then quickly leaving to go home and return safely to the internet

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#1566169 The Doppelganger Thread

Posted by ryan on 02 December 2010 - 03:05 PM

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#1778904 Dyl Bro Chill Presents: Real Life Rep

Posted by #1 Moderator of Umbi.net on 24 April 2012 - 03:47 PM

Greetings fellow umbis. I have created a new system to help us judge every day situations. Allow me to explain.

Say you are doing homework but u freakin hate homework!!! What are you gonna do? I will tell you what you are gonna do. Give that homework a -1 and tell it to eat shit!!

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Cant decide if u wanna make that coffee or not? Well hello! This is umbi. Coffee+1 make that delcious java

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accidentally bumped my desk and my brand new albert pujols bobblehead head fell off and broke off his little arm ;( what am i gonna do? cry all day about it? no. im gonna neg rep the situation and move on with my life.

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i love my new shoes. definitely worthy of a good ol +1

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and finally, i walked in to my brothers room and what i saw was the most +1 deserving thing to ever happen in the history of the universe

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#1646461 embarrassing post archive

Posted by nick on 24 April 2011 - 02:37 AM

ok i'm out

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#1902345 Madras Eye

Posted by //armk on 16 June 2013 - 02:01 PM

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yeah idk
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#1866300 Madras Eye

Posted by Guest on 22 February 2013 - 05:28 PM

my rig in all its glory
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me in all my faggotry
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#1912959 Madras Eye

Posted by oh. susana. on 24 July 2013 - 09:46 AM

summer's almost over but I've almost got myself a tan
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#1890079 Madras Eye

Posted by billfrogson on 10 May 2013 - 12:43 PM

Hiked the Roan Highlands. Things were lookin pretty shitty for a while.

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But then I said, "Hey Sky! Turn Blue!" and it kinda did and boy was it beautiful

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And then we played frisbee on top o' the mountain

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and then we headed home to our boring lives

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#1875737 Madras Eye

Posted by Flawless Calculations on 25 March 2013 - 09:16 AM

Coldest day up on the slopes on Saturday. My toes are still numb. The snow was glorious, though.

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#1765209 A Critical Evaluation of Sonson's last 5 posts

Posted by //armk on 16 March 2012 - 12:15 PM

my lit teacher says i'm a very fine writer and would make a great english major. Maybe I should do the Liberal Arts degree with the English concentration instead of Global Humanities...

dude i would totally do english if it payed well enough. Even as a professor you might be maxin out at 70,000 or so?

damn, 70k. who could live like that? only a dumb, retarded loser, obviously. time to give up on your dreams and start working in private equity, you dolt.


haha that was bad

really, sonson, do you think so? what a fresh, interesting perspective on an otherwise wholly celebrated moment from one of the most brilliantly reimagined franchises in film history.



A headline for that article on that site was "creepiest role yet" for Johnny Depp. Whats fucking creepy about that placated mundane portrayal of a vampire?

think about this one for a moment.

a link to a YAHOO MOVIES article about JOHNNY DEPP's latest role in yet another piece of shit TIM BURTON movie, trying to make some kind of issue out of the fact that he's playing a QUIRKY, CARTOON GOTH.



facebook changed my life.

my life changed facebook

life book changed my face

i mean as if motherprussia's post wasn't bad enough? jesus CHRIST.


the chorus lead is sweet.

Is it, sonson? Is it? No it isn't. The chorus lead in the instrumental version of Lady Gaga's Paparazzi is not sweet. It is, in fact, perhaps some of the worst music ever championed by the human race, and can only signify a species in utter decline. I can only hope that our demise is swift to spare us having to listen to any more of it, or to read any more of your TERRIBLE POSTING.

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#1907186 Madras Eye

Posted by Sans Bear on 02 July 2013 - 06:55 AM

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This is me, and this is my little sister. I wonder what she's going to be like when she's all grown up.
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#1854898 Who is going to Coachella?

Posted by rpmlem on 28 January 2013 - 11:46 AM

milo gonna smash

obviously. he thinks we can't decode his little secret message?

me and mine are camping, affirmative. if there's space in ze cars (and there oughta be) you could always hitch a ride with us to and from the show as you'll be on the way in either L.A. or Palm Springs. also, Coachella forum peoples offer many many rides to hitchhikers finding a ride in is always pretty easy, out a little more difficult, but there are buses and such as a last resort. dunno about good places to stay imagine google will be your biggest aid there

pros and cons of camping
you're verr close to the concert and can walk right in to the show don't have to worry about transportation to and from the venue
shows / displays / yoga / performance art / other random cultural shit takes place inside the campgrounds itself
nice sense of community people party with strangers till they can't party no more
you have a homebase and can leave the venue to go back to the campsite to grab something / rest / try and nap / make food / change attire whereas if you're staying offsite you're stuck with whatever you can carry in with you for many many hours

it's hot as fuck and you will wake you up fairly early in the morn once your tent becomes a sauna
shower lines
it's fucking hot
everything inside the campgrounds is crazy expensive but you can bring as much food / water in as fits in your car + there are shuttles that take you to the neighborhood shopping center
depends on where they spot you but it can take foooooorrrrevvvverrrrrr to drive in/out
the heat

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#1863210 Senbugger was arrested

Posted by nice on 15 February 2013 - 12:21 AM


imagine how mad he must be right now
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#1737438 Found female Ze on Okcupid

Posted by Guest on 20 December 2011 - 01:39 PM

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#1259918 I Kissed a Girl Today

Posted by Pintsized on 13 April 2010 - 01:08 AM

A little background: Father rents a garage that I believe was formerly a chop shop (due to its location [in Somerville] and general condition) for his picture framing. It's a rather large space, one that's not fully occupied even with all of his frame stock stored, and he's unable to pay the full rent by himself. As such, he sublets to artists looking for a light industrial space where they can paint with noxious oils, woodwork, or weld. It also allows them to say "I have a studio that's not in my apartment :smug: " which, even if it's an eight foot by eight foot segment of a hallway, is very important to artists and art poseurs (which is almost all of them). Recently, since Father is only getting older and I should get used to minor physical exertion before he dies and I find myself unable to get stuck jars open, I've taken to helping him in his labor. It was here that I met Lenore.

Lenore is a very sweet, twenty-something hipsterette with (what I think is) a B cup, an ass of no particular note, and the spacey-est demeanor I've ever encountered. She's Yuna from Final Fantasy X made flesh, and it's seemingly contagious since any conversation with her, no matter your age, gender, or ethnicity, will reduce you to softly mumbling about nothing. Despite this, she's intelligent by female standards and is the only person within Father's little commune who is truly, entirely devoted to her work (it's a shame it resembles a cross between mass produced eighties flower paintings and spirographs). She whistles Camptown Races and Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy while painting, something that I said "sounds like something immediately preceding a murder in a horror movie" at which point she said, "get back to work, Carmen". We do get along quite well though, Lenore and I. I'd like to think she likes me, yesterday she told me I was "the best dressed man in Somerville" (being Somerville my nearest competitor is probably a guy in a Red Sox jersey and a potato sack with leg holes cut in it, but still) and she's named a painting I described as "Felix the Cat violently exploding" Carmen's Cat.

She also has, or had, a minor problem: she was being stalked by a man named Yannis Pangoui (or something like that). Yannis, or "Yanny" as he prefers, is a heavy set, hairy, hunched, and generally vaguely threatening in an alliterative sense (imagine an older, heterosexual, Dark World version of Timtation and you have him). He claims to be in his sixties but is clearly in his forties, says he's worked in a mental hospital (by which I assume he means he was allowed to carry his own cafeteria tray when he was last institutionalized), and sees faces and eyes in Lenore's amorphous art. He likes eyes so much that he gave her a rather creepy drawing of a box adorned with eyes that he made with the proficiency of an untrained fifth grader. He's been coming by at nights when Lenore is there alone in the dark, telling her how talented she is and how much he enjoys her presence. When she isn't there he leaves letters, written in a script as incoherent as mine, recommending artists she should study and detailing the deep spiritual connection he feels between she and he. Lenore doesn't particularly like Yanny.

On Friday Lenore left him a letter at his residence explaining how, while she appreciates his appreciation, she's not ready right now to share her art with the public. On Saturday he left a letter saying that he understood and would leave her alone, something that came as a great relief to dear Lenore. That day she also told me what his address is, quite close to the garage in fact, and a physical description of the building "if you want to see what it looks like". On Sunday I talked to Lenore about how I had an idea or two or how to handle him should he return and suggested she follow my lead if necessary, though we were distracted before I could go into details. On Monday he came back. Luckily, this time I was at the garage.

Yanny knocked on the door to the southern entrance, a vaguely office-ish space of the garage and where Lenore's micro-studio is located. I knew from where he was standing he couldn't see me in the garage so I told Lenore to let him in and play along with what I was about to do before ducking behind a trash can and some large foamboard boxes. She let him in, he greeted her in his decibel too loud, Greek (I think) accented voice, and, after a few moments, I sprung up with a "hi!" startling and almost tripping him. Despite having seen him delivering a letter before I asked Lenore who he was and, upon learning, feigned excitement. I told him how nice it was that Lenore was attracting the admirers her art deserved while positioning myself between he and her and taking her by the waist, a gesture she accepted with only a quick askance glare at me. He asked who I was and I said I was her boyfriend "Carmen Sandriego" (it's much in Lenore's credit that she didn't crack up at this)(yes I said it that way on purpose). Still holding Lenore's waist, I suggested we take a look at Lenore's most recent painting.

He tried to say something, but I cut him off to heap undo praise on Lenore's work, apparently flattering her. He then tried again to say something, but I cut him off and asked why he had returned when Lenore's letter requested privacy, which he had seemed to understand before. He started going on about how he had received a letter from her and held it up which I promptly snatched from his grasp and showed Lenore. It was in a similar deranged, unreadable penmanship to his previous letters, and I handed it back saying that it clearly wasn't her handwriting. I asked her if she had written it and she said no. He said he didn't understand and I accused him of accusing her of lying. I feigned outrage at this.

Now, from my experiences with dealing with crazy people (Baph) I've learned that most of the loonies who are deemed safe enough to walk the streets by the bleeding heart, liberal, socialist, homosexual Massachusetts state government are the kind of crazies that, while unaware of their own mental health deficiencies, are acutely aware of those of others. Thus, they usually react more strongly to someone acting crazier than them than a normal person would. This in mind, I advanced by small, yet rapid and erratic, steps toward him, a maniac grin upon my face, shaking my body in general and my head in particular in a manner similar to my Stickam appearances ( :pintcrazy: ), though a bit more restrained, invading his personal space and pushing him back. Luckily for me he's about 5'7", putting me at a distinct advantage in a game of physical intimidation that he otherwise had covered. He denied casting any allegations on Lenore and picked up on my suggestion that this was all a big mix up. Advancing still, propelling him over the threshold, I smiled a toothily, eyes almost hidden behind a lattice of tangled blonde locks (when I'm not self-deprecating I describe myself like the Joker if he appeared in Danielle Steele novels), and asked if he would like to stay. He said he was just going, and I said it was nice to meet him, offering a hand he limply shook (I think I strained the muscles in my right hand squeezing his since they still hurt and it's slowing my typing) before returning to Lenore side. As he got on his bicycle and looked back I took Lenore's chin with my hand, directing her lips to mine in an awkward lock that lasted a solid three and a half seconds before she pulled away.

I don't think he'll be returning.

She stared at me quizzically until he was well out of eye and earshot, and even then it was a few seconds before she dissolved into laughter. She asked if I thought he might contact the authorities, but I didn't think the police were going to take a phone call about a "Carmen Sandiego" menacing him seriously. She asked if I had any ideas where that letter came from and I said he probably wrote it himself. She thanked me.

If anyone's wondering, I'm up this late because it took me six hours to write this post. I'd write a paragraph every half hour and every fifteen minutes I'd have to get up and spin in a circle or pace for a bit due to the giddy accomplishment high I'm still riding on.
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#1922237 Madras Eye

Posted by rotting clopse on 25 August 2013 - 11:57 AM

last night i went to my yard and stole my new truck and took it for a joyride. i brought it home and picked up my drunk ass parents to take them for a ride. it was a lot of fun, probably the most fun i ever had with them. they were so tickled. my dad's drunk fatass fell out of the truck while he was clumsily climbing down. what a doofus LOL

anyway they took sum pics:

operating big truck
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big truck
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it's huge i'll try to post a better pic someday i know u guys probably cant wait

god she drives so smooth i'm so excited to be driving her now!! Western Stars :drool:
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#1888611 Madras Eye

Posted by Guest on 04 May 2013 - 07:13 PM

nevermind kayc is still a dipshit

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who the fuck contorts their body mid air into a swastika while skydiving?

this shit has to be on every skinheads bucketlist, swastika your body over the fatherland
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#1868331 _×÷•.•´¯`•» smile :) 2k14 daily updates «•´¯`•.•÷×_

Posted by ghost on 01 March 2013 - 09:23 AM

8 months sober today. About to meet up with my sponsor and finish the 12th step.
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#1380686 girl sat on my lap today

Posted by Dr. Lixmeister D.F.P. on 01 June 2010 - 05:35 PM

Maybe she mistook you for a bean bag chair.
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#1377724 My rep is on the rise

Posted by Abelian on 31 May 2010 - 03:53 AM

this calls for more stoned posting

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